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If Your Compassion Does Not Include Yourself, It Is Incomplete


I’ve come to see that being human is a dance.


Sometimes we are caught up in our thoughts, mainly about ourselves, e.g. my weight, my money, my husband, my career, my anxiety, my pain, etc.; and how something should be better, different, or improved. My brain likes to offer up self-criticism and self-judgment as a motivator to make self-improvements. It’s all very predictable and repetitive, like a two-step dance; e.g. feel a little tightness in my pants, start thinking I should lose weight. You might say it is a thinking habit.


All the while there is free flowing dance full of innate wisdom, groundedness, compassion for self and others, moving through us always. Here we see how deeply we can trust ourselves. This dance is as much a part of being human as the familiar two-step mentioned above. One is not better than the other. With understanding we come to see how well it is all working.


Because our attention is focused on our brain’s repetitive thoughts, we think we need to do something to find our innate wellbeing. For me, the do something was usually some kind of self-improvement, e.g. better body, make more money, more education, etc. We innocently think when we achieve or acquire something, we will finally feel good, we can relax,…but it never lasts, because life is always moving, changing, shifting.


Through conversations, I help people access their own innate wisdom, so they can move through life with more, calm, grace and gratitude with themselves and others.


Some people worry that if they trust themselves deeply, they might just let go and become overweight, unemployed, or unmotivated. I've come to see the opposite is true.


It's possible to care for yourself with respect and understanding, rather than a constant self-improvement project.


The Buddha said, “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” I’ve come to know this is true and I love to help others see this for themselves.


Plus those of us with self-improvement habits, would never leave anything incomplete!





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